| this weekend caused me to do a lot of thinking, and a lot of soul searching.
when i think of myself two years ago, or even earlier than that... i feel like i was a stronger person. this past year especially i have been searching & struggling to find a balance in my life to try and make my life make sense again. i am not one to regret, but i am not proud of who i have been lately & i finally feel like i am ready to make a change.
i have said it before... just like many do when they have a goal.. they talk about it, but they never quite obtain it. but this time for me, i feel like i am really ready, and i feel like i deserve it. i have been living life for others... living to please others, and in living that life i have forgotten myself.
its time to be selfish. its time to take me time. its time to work out & live a healthy lifestyle again. its time to respect myself... its time to demand respect from others. its time to be happy with myself again... and not the kind of happy that lasts only during the day... but the kind of happy that last even when i am alone at night.. when i do my reflection.
i could just make this easy & say its time to grow up... but i can't.
because i still want to be childish & i still want to make mistakes.
i could go on forever, but its 3 a.m. & my throat hurts.
more to come... night.
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| i have missed you xanga.
i think i am going to start using you again.
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i hate feeling like my life has become a ride that is completely out of my hands. i feel like i am torn into two different directions and instead of choosing one path, i decide to switch back and forth between myself.
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| its hard to find the space between growing up and just being. |
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| fun day!!
gentlemen's club!
quammy! i swear he was crying before this... you can see the steaks on his face.
me & katers... check out her hot new hair! we def got rear ended today & katie got whip lash...
kathy is hardcore
umm some stuff i found in quams garage... i look retarded.
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